Photos: 2008 SSCXWC From Portland

It started with a "covert mission" in a local park, and ended in a fun-filled field laced with beer, bikes, and absolute chaos. The 2008 Single Speed Cyclocross "World Championships" (SSCXWC) were everything you could hope for in an officially non-sanctioned World Championships—nothing against the UCI, but they somehow seem to suck the fun right of racing bikes, making it some sort of serious endeavor dominated by a quest for rainbow stripes. Whatever. A tattoo on your bum is more indelible than rainbow stripes if you ask me. And personally, I’d rather take part in a "Special Ops" mission based out of Chris King HQ on a cold, rain-soaked day in Portland, Oregon anytime vs. banging elbows at the start of a world cup anywhere. But then again, I don’t race bikes for a living; I just shoot people riding ‘em. Come to think of it, though, I did see a few world cup racers in the field—with one Nat Ross clad rather conspicuously in a red dress.

Centered in 'Cross crazy Portland, Oregon, the SSCXWC was a two-day event organized by the Portland Single Speed Collective (Special shout-out to everyone involved, but especially Danni Dance, Matt Slaven, and John Walrod). Day one started at Chris King HQ and involved a qualifying time trial based around a single, simple rule: the bike you race in the TT would be the bike you raced the following day at Portland International Raceway (PIR).

As was the flavor of the overall event, the TT was not officially sanctioned. Rather, it was completely un-sanctioned lending to its covert status, and was held in a local park that shall remain nameless to keep promoters free and clear from any officially generated blowback.

Under leaden skies, a collection of racers—some in traditional lycra, but many adopting the less formal racing kit that SS events are known for—set off from CK HQ for the TT location, never realizing that the 40-odd-minute trek to the venue would actually be more physically demanding than the actual TT itself. The track featured a long fire road climb, a dollop of single track, and then a raucous descent down "Fire Road Five"; pilot errors were not encouraged due to serious road rash potential and a lack of attending medical personnel. In other words, crash on your own dime, sucker.

The small horde then moved to the Lucky Labrador Beer Hall for post TT food and libations, before transitioning to a party hosted at Vanilla Bicycles workshop. Scheduled events for the evening included a "Last Chance Race" (an alley cat scramble) and then a pub crawl (who better to host a pub crawl than Portland’s very own "Team Beer"?).

Day two's event was piggy backed onto a Cross Crusade event at PIR, the site of many a worthy 'cross race, including the US Nats in ‘05. True to the form of a SS style of WC, there were some features unique to the course. Item number one: there was no call up for seeded racers. Rather, the start featured a shoulder-to-shoulder line of participants stretching across a grass field in a head-to-head sprint to the start of the track. Once on course, next feature consisted of a simple barricade followed by a wall of foam continuously spewing into a course wide blob from an overhead bubble machine. This was immediately followed by your chance to practice larger than life-sized mini golf moves with a windmill-topped run up. The windmill blades eventually broke off, due to a collision, or six, too many, but while it was going it was a hoot. The rest of the course was pretty standard for a Portland CX track: typical slip-n-slide off-camber corners, greasy mud, a bit of pavement and rabid fans....

What can I say about the actual race? The start was a beautiful ballet of absolute chaos as a screaming horde of racers pinned it flat out across the field for the holeshot. Organized idiocy or beautifully choreographed entropy? You pick. Sixty minutes later with the sound of the bell lap ringing in my ears, it was all over: everyone had a damn good time, a lot of beer was consumed (thanks PBR!), and Sue Butler and Drew MacKenzie were awarded the coveted "Golden Bikinis", as well as a tattoo each, signifying their World Championship title.

Be there for next year's event. It's too much fun to miss.